INTERVIEW WITH MADELINE HANSEN
By Giselle Torres
3/6/2024
Madeline Hansen is a Chicago-based multidisciplinary artist fascinated with the balancing act of beauty and violence. Common motifs in their work range from poetry, animals in the wild, ribbons, and sheer fabric. Hansen’s work is elegiacally charged down to the fibers of each material they chose to employ rgardless of whether it is a garment, drawing, or poem. In this interview, we discussed function versus form, disarming perfectionism with the mindset of total acceptance and freedom, post-apocalyptic movies, and more.
![Untitled, screen-printed found imagery on BFK paper, 2021.]()
Giselle Torres: When did you realize that you wanted to make art consistently and what has helped you to stay consistent and motivated to do so?
MH: My parents got me my first film camera when I was three, it was like a Fisher Price camera. It was something that I had always done, I wouldn’t say I was always good at it but it was something that I loved to do. When I was in high school, there were these portfolio days hosted in downtown Portland and I went and this one college said that my work was really cool and that they have a pre-college program and you should apply. So, I did it and I went to pre-college in San Francisco and I was taking photo classes there and after I left I was like, this is what I want to do. I told my parents “I want to do art for the rest of my life” and they were like “Ok, I don't really know what to do with that” [Laughs]. They have been really supportive and they helped me to apply to colleges and stuff.
It comes in waves. A year after college I wasn’t making work just because I was tired and I needed a break and just needed to think about what I wanted to make again. The resources I had in college were not accessible to me anymore and I was thinking about what I wanted to do and how I am going to do this on my own but I feel like that just takes time to figure out. Eventually I got back in the groove of it. We have a studio in the apartment and it was nice because I can do it from home and I don’t need all these things to do the things I want to do which is cool. It is hard to stay motivated sometimes. I will set deadlines for myself to get certain things done by certain dates and get X amount of work done.
GT: How has your process changed or been altered by not being in college anymore?
MH: When I started college I was doing painting and photography which is so crazy because I don’t do any of that anymore. I have always loved images and writing and I would write all the time and I would collect all of these images on my computer. And I remember telling my friend that I didn’t know what to do with all of them and he said to just put them onto clothes and I was like ‘oh, that is so smart and genius’ and that is kinda where it all started. I was a diehard screenprinter for so long and I was like, I’m not going to print any other way and that nothing else is as good as screen printing.
After graduating, I was thinking about how time-consuming screen printing is and I didn’t know what to do because I didn’t have time for it and I had to work and pay bills and stuff. So, I invested in a sublimation printer which is a normal printer but it prints dye onto paper instead and then you just heat press it onto the fabric and it cuts the time of printing stuff down to like five minutes which is awesome. It is much easier to do things now compared to how it used to be. It makes it easier to make work also because I don’t have to think about going somewhere and spending eight hours there just to get one image which is cool [Laughs].
Giselle Torres: When did you realize that you wanted to make art consistently and what has helped you to stay consistent and motivated to do so?
MH: My parents got me my first film camera when I was three, it was like a Fisher Price camera. It was something that I had always done, I wouldn’t say I was always good at it but it was something that I loved to do. When I was in high school, there were these portfolio days hosted in downtown Portland and I went and this one college said that my work was really cool and that they have a pre-college program and you should apply. So, I did it and I went to pre-college in San Francisco and I was taking photo classes there and after I left I was like, this is what I want to do. I told my parents “I want to do art for the rest of my life” and they were like “Ok, I don't really know what to do with that” [Laughs]. They have been really supportive and they helped me to apply to colleges and stuff.
It comes in waves. A year after college I wasn’t making work just because I was tired and I needed a break and just needed to think about what I wanted to make again. The resources I had in college were not accessible to me anymore and I was thinking about what I wanted to do and how I am going to do this on my own but I feel like that just takes time to figure out. Eventually I got back in the groove of it. We have a studio in the apartment and it was nice because I can do it from home and I don’t need all these things to do the things I want to do which is cool. It is hard to stay motivated sometimes. I will set deadlines for myself to get certain things done by certain dates and get X amount of work done.
GT: How has your process changed or been altered by not being in college anymore?
MH: When I started college I was doing painting and photography which is so crazy because I don’t do any of that anymore. I have always loved images and writing and I would write all the time and I would collect all of these images on my computer. And I remember telling my friend that I didn’t know what to do with all of them and he said to just put them onto clothes and I was like ‘oh, that is so smart and genius’ and that is kinda where it all started. I was a diehard screenprinter for so long and I was like, I’m not going to print any other way and that nothing else is as good as screen printing.
After graduating, I was thinking about how time-consuming screen printing is and I didn’t know what to do because I didn’t have time for it and I had to work and pay bills and stuff. So, I invested in a sublimation printer which is a normal printer but it prints dye onto paper instead and then you just heat press it onto the fabric and it cuts the time of printing stuff down to like five minutes which is awesome. It is much easier to do things now compared to how it used to be. It makes it easier to make work also because I don’t have to think about going somewhere and spending eight hours there just to get one image which is cool [Laughs].
GT: I find it so fitting that some of your garments are adorned with verses and musings which compliments your designs that are already so compositionally poetic. For example, the fabrics you use are delicate-looking and it has an effect on the person who wears it because maybe they will give it more tender love and care or carry themselves differently when they wear it. Is this effect something you consider?
MH: Yeah, the functionality of it is something I think about and it is delicate for sure. I have spent a lot of time making sure that they hold up over time which is difficult when things are delicate. I used to make nonfunctional clothing when I first started and I made it more for aesthetic purposes instead of to be worn and I envisioned them being put up in a gallery but now I realize these are pieces that I want people to wear. I do tell people that they can stick these in the washing machine and that it will hold up in there and everyone is like “woahhh” [Laughs]. It is a balance because I do like the functionality of them and for them to be delicate.
MH: Yeah, the functionality of it is something I think about and it is delicate for sure. I have spent a lot of time making sure that they hold up over time which is difficult when things are delicate. I used to make nonfunctional clothing when I first started and I made it more for aesthetic purposes instead of to be worn and I envisioned them being put up in a gallery but now I realize these are pieces that I want people to wear. I do tell people that they can stick these in the washing machine and that it will hold up in there and everyone is like “woahhh” [Laughs]. It is a balance because I do like the functionality of them and for them to be delicate.
GT: What are those more delicate fabrics that you use? Is it mesh or tulle?
MH: Oh, I can show you. I have been using a lot of spandex lately too. I have been trying to branch out but ultimately I do like more light-weight materials for sure. [Madeline brings out multiple examples of their work and we go through them together]. I am kind of a sweaty girl on the low [Laughs]. That is something I think about because I do make a lot of clothes for myself and I’ll sell them if someone wants something. In many ways it is like skin.
GT: That was definitely something I wanted to talk about with you! Many of your garments are composed of a fabric that is very skin-like from the intimate way the fabric sits on the models and there is also a lot of transparency and such closeness to the body.
MH: When I first started making clothes, I remember watching The Fifth Element and I was twenty-one years old. I was obsessed with Jean Paul Gaultier before that and when I watched that I knew that this is what I wanted to do. Gaultier’s designs are so to the body in a way so that is something I think about a lot. Clothes in a way are like wearing another version of skin and I can know that I like it and it is a part of me. I think about that a lot, even subconsciously if it’s not in my subconscious brain [Laughs].
MH: Oh, I can show you. I have been using a lot of spandex lately too. I have been trying to branch out but ultimately I do like more light-weight materials for sure. [Madeline brings out multiple examples of their work and we go through them together]. I am kind of a sweaty girl on the low [Laughs]. That is something I think about because I do make a lot of clothes for myself and I’ll sell them if someone wants something. In many ways it is like skin.
GT: That was definitely something I wanted to talk about with you! Many of your garments are composed of a fabric that is very skin-like from the intimate way the fabric sits on the models and there is also a lot of transparency and such closeness to the body.
MH: When I first started making clothes, I remember watching The Fifth Element and I was twenty-one years old. I was obsessed with Jean Paul Gaultier before that and when I watched that I knew that this is what I wanted to do. Gaultier’s designs are so to the body in a way so that is something I think about a lot. Clothes in a way are like wearing another version of skin and I can know that I like it and it is a part of me. I think about that a lot, even subconsciously if it’s not in my subconscious brain [Laughs].
GT: You mentioned that you are inspired by Gaultier’s work, who or what else has informed your work in such a way? Or even someone you have learned something exciting from that you still think about?
MH: Image-wise and writing-wise I’d say I listen to a lot of Underworld which is a band and I like the way they write a lot. Also, I've been looking at the brand, Imitation of Christ a lot lately. I don’t really know if they are still making new stuff but their early 2000s designs are very delicate and feminine. When I was like eighteen, I watched The Holy Mountain and that rocked my whole world. It’s funny because it is such a classic art film and I watched it and thought it was so beautiful. The work I make is driven for aesthetics in a way and I feel like all the things I consume fall into that. I don’t know if that is just my brain or if I’m a Taurus but I am obsessed with aesthetics. Also, apocalypse movies are an inspiration for me, I love them and I have been binge watching Mad Max lately and I watched Doomsday the other day. All the costume designs in those movies are so cool. I don’t make post apocalypse clothes but it definitely comes across in a way.
GT: I can definitely imagine characters in a post apocalypse movie repping your clothes and it working really well and looking really awesome.
MH: [Laughs] That would be awesome. Yeah, like I was talking to my manager at work and I was saying that I love sci-fi movies and post-apocalyptic sci-fi movies and the costumes are always so good and crazy and I would definitely say that is where I source a lot of inspiration from.
GT: Would you say you are attracted to the functionality of their costumes? In those movies the characters are not wearing more than they need to to get from A to B and such.
MH: I think about that a lot. It is in the back of my brain sometimes because those costumes are definitely functionally-driven and they always look sick.
GT: Yeah, absolutely. If you had to describe your work to someone who had never seen it, what would you say?
MH: Oh wow, that’s really hard because no one has ever asked me that before. I would describe it as being feminine with an edge in a way. I would also say it is ethereal and that it touches into spirituality that I practice. Before I make garments and sometimes if I don’t know what I am going to do I will say a prayer, not to God but to whatever is listening to me. Other times I will make a drawing and say that I need guidance on this. In a way I am channeling something. Like, I can make something but it is another thing to feel like you have been helped by something else in the process if that makes sense. I don’t know, I am kind of stumped on this question.
MH: Image-wise and writing-wise I’d say I listen to a lot of Underworld which is a band and I like the way they write a lot. Also, I've been looking at the brand, Imitation of Christ a lot lately. I don’t really know if they are still making new stuff but their early 2000s designs are very delicate and feminine. When I was like eighteen, I watched The Holy Mountain and that rocked my whole world. It’s funny because it is such a classic art film and I watched it and thought it was so beautiful. The work I make is driven for aesthetics in a way and I feel like all the things I consume fall into that. I don’t know if that is just my brain or if I’m a Taurus but I am obsessed with aesthetics. Also, apocalypse movies are an inspiration for me, I love them and I have been binge watching Mad Max lately and I watched Doomsday the other day. All the costume designs in those movies are so cool. I don’t make post apocalypse clothes but it definitely comes across in a way.
GT: I can definitely imagine characters in a post apocalypse movie repping your clothes and it working really well and looking really awesome.
MH: [Laughs] That would be awesome. Yeah, like I was talking to my manager at work and I was saying that I love sci-fi movies and post-apocalyptic sci-fi movies and the costumes are always so good and crazy and I would definitely say that is where I source a lot of inspiration from.
GT: Would you say you are attracted to the functionality of their costumes? In those movies the characters are not wearing more than they need to to get from A to B and such.
MH: I think about that a lot. It is in the back of my brain sometimes because those costumes are definitely functionally-driven and they always look sick.
GT: Yeah, absolutely. If you had to describe your work to someone who had never seen it, what would you say?
MH: Oh wow, that’s really hard because no one has ever asked me that before. I would describe it as being feminine with an edge in a way. I would also say it is ethereal and that it touches into spirituality that I practice. Before I make garments and sometimes if I don’t know what I am going to do I will say a prayer, not to God but to whatever is listening to me. Other times I will make a drawing and say that I need guidance on this. In a way I am channeling something. Like, I can make something but it is another thing to feel like you have been helped by something else in the process if that makes sense. I don’t know, I am kind of stumped on this question.
GT: It is nice in a way that you can’t really put it into words because you seem more focused on making what you feel like you should be making instead of making what you feel like you have to.
MH: Yeah, even when I first started making clothes, I was making them in a certain way and everyone really liked it and I realized I didn’t want to do it that way anymore. I needed to figure out what I really value and want to do. And that was so difficult because doing things, like making art for the public versus making art for yourself is so difficult because I know that if I make something a certain way, it will do really well publicly. On the other hand, I can make something that I personally really like and if the public likes it too, then that’s great.
GT: I would say that most creatives would relate to that, you know, this desire to want the world to understand your work and to see the fruits of your labor all the while making sure you don’t sacrifice parts of yourself in the process.
MH: Especially in school even, you get critiqued on things like that and there is such a concern for the acceptance and opinions of others about the work you make. Since graduating, it has been really freeing because I can do the things I want to do and I don’t have to adhere to the things I was told and other people’s opinions like that.
GT: How has being a multi-disciplinary artist expanded the depths at which you can explore your process now?
MH: It is a double-edged sword in some ways. Lately, I have been drawing a lot which has been very inspiring because I will draw something and then decide I want to put it on a garment when I wouldn’t have done so before. I really like writing. All the things I do are integrated in some way; they are all connected. Which is cool because for so long I thought they needed to be separate.
Putting my poetry on clothing has felt really good because I feel like I write so much and it just sits and I’m like this isn’t going to see the public eye. It has been cool to be like I’m going to do this and I’m going to put it on this clothing piece and it makes sense and looks really cool. Sewing in a way is a bit difficult for me because I have such a photo and painter's brain engraved in my subconscious. Sewing in some ways is like drawing or painting; From choosing the color of the thread it will become a line on this piece and becomes similar to wearing a painting. Sometimes I miss painting but it still feels like I’m painting, just in a different way.
MH: Yeah, even when I first started making clothes, I was making them in a certain way and everyone really liked it and I realized I didn’t want to do it that way anymore. I needed to figure out what I really value and want to do. And that was so difficult because doing things, like making art for the public versus making art for yourself is so difficult because I know that if I make something a certain way, it will do really well publicly. On the other hand, I can make something that I personally really like and if the public likes it too, then that’s great.
GT: I would say that most creatives would relate to that, you know, this desire to want the world to understand your work and to see the fruits of your labor all the while making sure you don’t sacrifice parts of yourself in the process.
MH: Especially in school even, you get critiqued on things like that and there is such a concern for the acceptance and opinions of others about the work you make. Since graduating, it has been really freeing because I can do the things I want to do and I don’t have to adhere to the things I was told and other people’s opinions like that.
GT: How has being a multi-disciplinary artist expanded the depths at which you can explore your process now?
MH: It is a double-edged sword in some ways. Lately, I have been drawing a lot which has been very inspiring because I will draw something and then decide I want to put it on a garment when I wouldn’t have done so before. I really like writing. All the things I do are integrated in some way; they are all connected. Which is cool because for so long I thought they needed to be separate.
Putting my poetry on clothing has felt really good because I feel like I write so much and it just sits and I’m like this isn’t going to see the public eye. It has been cool to be like I’m going to do this and I’m going to put it on this clothing piece and it makes sense and looks really cool. Sewing in a way is a bit difficult for me because I have such a photo and painter's brain engraved in my subconscious. Sewing in some ways is like drawing or painting; From choosing the color of the thread it will become a line on this piece and becomes similar to wearing a painting. Sometimes I miss painting but it still feels like I’m painting, just in a different way.
GT: Yeah, sometimes in the world of fashion, the personal touch and thoughtfulness of putting a garment together is lost because items can be mass-produced and thread is just a means to put two pieces of fabric together. For you to be so intentional and focused on that aspect of the composition is refreshing.
MH: When I dye fabrics too, I will paint the dye on instead of putting it in a bath of dye which works well and is cool. It makes me feel more connected to it in a way.
GT: Do you feel closer to the work when you do so in terms of having a gauge of how much work you put into it?
MH: Yes, I have been doing a lot of trades lately which has been fun and I love making work for specific people. I will go through their page and pick out all the things that they like and think about how to make something that they like and I like and find things that I care about too. It is a fun game to play.
GT: And maybe it even expands your awareness of the things you admire too.
MH: Yeah, it is really nice but also I get nervous that they won’t like it and then they always end up loving it which is cool [Laughs].
GT: Do you go from thinking about function to form or form to function with your garments?
MH: When I dye fabrics too, I will paint the dye on instead of putting it in a bath of dye which works well and is cool. It makes me feel more connected to it in a way.
GT: Do you feel closer to the work when you do so in terms of having a gauge of how much work you put into it?
MH: Yes, I have been doing a lot of trades lately which has been fun and I love making work for specific people. I will go through their page and pick out all the things that they like and think about how to make something that they like and I like and find things that I care about too. It is a fun game to play.
GT: And maybe it even expands your awareness of the things you admire too.
MH: Yeah, it is really nice but also I get nervous that they won’t like it and then they always end up loving it which is cool [Laughs].
GT: Do you go from thinking about function to form or form to function with your garments?
MH: I would say function is always in the back of my brain and lately I feel like I have been making a lot of solid functional pieces which feels good because I know it will last a long time and it can be something people have for their whole life which is cool. When I make clothes, sometimes I sketch them out beforehand but rarely will I do that. I usually sit down and pattern a piece and it is usually a spur of the moment kind of thing. Function is important but so in form. Sometimes I sketch it out beforehand because I'll have an idea in my brain and I get worried I’ll lose it.
GT: The documentation of a lot of your designs are set in liminal and organic spaces like parking garages and the woods. Is documentation an element in the story your designs are trying to tell?
MH: It is fun because I still like to take photos and I take a lot of polaroids and stuff like that but I don't like documenting things myself. I think it is really fun to work with other photographers and tell them my ideas and if they have any ideas I am willing to talk things out.
GT: The documentation of a lot of your designs are set in liminal and organic spaces like parking garages and the woods. Is documentation an element in the story your designs are trying to tell?
MH: It is fun because I still like to take photos and I take a lot of polaroids and stuff like that but I don't like documenting things myself. I think it is really fun to work with other photographers and tell them my ideas and if they have any ideas I am willing to talk things out.
This is silly but we kept saying that we needed a gun to incorporate into the photoshoot and that was just a basepoint that we agreed upon and then we built onto that the more we talked. It is just a fun collaboration with other people because other people are good at what they do too and I’m not the best photographer in the world so it is fun to work with them on that. For the longest time I felt that I needed to be in control of everything and this is my way of letting go of control and realizing that this person can do this and I don’t have to do everything on my own which is really freeing.
The clothes that were in the magazine shoot which is so crazy to think about and I am still in shock. I shipped everything out to New York in November of last year to do the shoot. And we were just waiting, waiting, and waiting and then it came out and I literally cried so much the day of. It was so cool to do stuff like that because I see my work in a certain specific way. I sent the clothes to my friend Maya and it was really cool because the way I see things is different from the way other people see things. She styled them in ballet-core fashion. I never envisioned my work being like that and I realized my work can be way more expansive than I thought it could be. I enjoy when other people do that for me because it is eye-opening in a way and it helps me notice that it can be way bigger than I thought it could be.
The clothes that were in the magazine shoot which is so crazy to think about and I am still in shock. I shipped everything out to New York in November of last year to do the shoot. And we were just waiting, waiting, and waiting and then it came out and I literally cried so much the day of. It was so cool to do stuff like that because I see my work in a certain specific way. I sent the clothes to my friend Maya and it was really cool because the way I see things is different from the way other people see things. She styled them in ballet-core fashion. I never envisioned my work being like that and I realized my work can be way more expansive than I thought it could be. I enjoy when other people do that for me because it is eye-opening in a way and it helps me notice that it can be way bigger than I thought it could be.
GT: Yeah, taking a step back to get other people’s perception of your work can help you realize something you may not have noticed before. And I can absolutely see your work being read that way from the fabrics used and the forms you lean towards.
MH: Yeah, absolutely. I love the way those photos came out. I'm so obsessed with them. I didn’t know anybody on that shoot and Maya was just styling it so I would send her stuff and she would style it. I am still in shock; it is so crazy.
GT: So it was a lot of trust I assume.
MH: It was complete trust but I was sure she would do amazing and they turned out beautiful. Working with others is fun and is enjoyable but it is also stressful sometimes in terms of communicating everything. That is a natural stress that everyone feels of wanting something to be good. Even my friend Tyler shot some stuff and the way they see the world is so beautiful and the way I see the world is also beautiful but it is nice to look at it from their point of view. I am grateful to also have friends that are also good at what they do.
GT: Collaborating with friends is such a blessing because that is a nice way to know them even more through seeing how they work and their process and inspiring each other.
MH: And very rewarding.
GT: Absolutely. How you describe your ideal work environment?
MH: In my perfect world and if I am rich one day, I would want a massive loft with big windows with my cat and my bed in the loft and then downstairs I would want it to all be my studio space. My roommate and I will sometimes sew at the same time because she also makes clothes and that is cool. It is so meditative sometimes because I will put on music and I won’t even notice what’s playing because I’m like hunched over on my sewing machine and so focused. Work space is definitely important and when I first started sewing I was literally sewing on this coffee table and I don’t know why I didn’t think to get a desk or anything. I keep images of things that interest me up on my wall because they are things that I am thinking about. I can look at them and feel inspired.
GT: What is something new you want to try or something that you want to get better at?
MH: This is so bad but I just got a dress form maybe a few weeks ago and I have been literally sewing without one for three and a half years. I really want to learn how to pattern better and I know the basics but I want to be able to pattern jackets and things like that that are more form to the body. Making art is all about learning. I never took any fashion classes at school and so I taught myself everything. It wasn’t until after I left school that I realized I like making clothes more than I like screenprinting. I am still a baby at this and I don’t know much and I watch Youtube videos and stuff but I am still learning. My goal is to learn how to pattern a lot of different things and learn that way. I feel like there is always something to improve on.
Sometimes I make pieces and I hate certain things and then I’ll try something new. For a while I was painting with dye and using that to put text onto clothes. I want to go back to that but I wasn’t able to execute it well enough at the time but I want to revisit it. I always feel like there are a thousand things I can improve on. Sometimes things really work out and I love how it turned out but other times I am surprised by something going completely differently than I thought it would. I will recognize what did and didn’t work and I will take that and try again.
GT: It is so great that you don’t let those moments discourage you and instead you use it as a tool because you are just learning and this is how you learn.
MH: For the longest time I was a huge perfectionist. And as I have gotten older, I practiced total acceptance and total freedom. If you accept the things you do that don’t work, even just in regular life, just learn from it. That lack of guilt, shame, and failure is so freeing and allows you to move forward to just do what you want to do.
GT: The strive for perfectionism is so celebrated sometimes, you know, the way in which it can be seen as a proof of how bad someone wants something. The way you described this radical acceptance is wonderful and is definitely more productive. There was a work of art of yours that states “your secret is safe with me” that I wanted to have you chat about a little more if you could?
MH: Yeah, absolutely. I love the way those photos came out. I'm so obsessed with them. I didn’t know anybody on that shoot and Maya was just styling it so I would send her stuff and she would style it. I am still in shock; it is so crazy.
GT: So it was a lot of trust I assume.
MH: It was complete trust but I was sure she would do amazing and they turned out beautiful. Working with others is fun and is enjoyable but it is also stressful sometimes in terms of communicating everything. That is a natural stress that everyone feels of wanting something to be good. Even my friend Tyler shot some stuff and the way they see the world is so beautiful and the way I see the world is also beautiful but it is nice to look at it from their point of view. I am grateful to also have friends that are also good at what they do.
GT: Collaborating with friends is such a blessing because that is a nice way to know them even more through seeing how they work and their process and inspiring each other.
MH: And very rewarding.
GT: Absolutely. How you describe your ideal work environment?
MH: In my perfect world and if I am rich one day, I would want a massive loft with big windows with my cat and my bed in the loft and then downstairs I would want it to all be my studio space. My roommate and I will sometimes sew at the same time because she also makes clothes and that is cool. It is so meditative sometimes because I will put on music and I won’t even notice what’s playing because I’m like hunched over on my sewing machine and so focused. Work space is definitely important and when I first started sewing I was literally sewing on this coffee table and I don’t know why I didn’t think to get a desk or anything. I keep images of things that interest me up on my wall because they are things that I am thinking about. I can look at them and feel inspired.
GT: What is something new you want to try or something that you want to get better at?
MH: This is so bad but I just got a dress form maybe a few weeks ago and I have been literally sewing without one for three and a half years. I really want to learn how to pattern better and I know the basics but I want to be able to pattern jackets and things like that that are more form to the body. Making art is all about learning. I never took any fashion classes at school and so I taught myself everything. It wasn’t until after I left school that I realized I like making clothes more than I like screenprinting. I am still a baby at this and I don’t know much and I watch Youtube videos and stuff but I am still learning. My goal is to learn how to pattern a lot of different things and learn that way. I feel like there is always something to improve on.
Sometimes I make pieces and I hate certain things and then I’ll try something new. For a while I was painting with dye and using that to put text onto clothes. I want to go back to that but I wasn’t able to execute it well enough at the time but I want to revisit it. I always feel like there are a thousand things I can improve on. Sometimes things really work out and I love how it turned out but other times I am surprised by something going completely differently than I thought it would. I will recognize what did and didn’t work and I will take that and try again.
GT: It is so great that you don’t let those moments discourage you and instead you use it as a tool because you are just learning and this is how you learn.
MH: For the longest time I was a huge perfectionist. And as I have gotten older, I practiced total acceptance and total freedom. If you accept the things you do that don’t work, even just in regular life, just learn from it. That lack of guilt, shame, and failure is so freeing and allows you to move forward to just do what you want to do.
GT: The strive for perfectionism is so celebrated sometimes, you know, the way in which it can be seen as a proof of how bad someone wants something. The way you described this radical acceptance is wonderful and is definitely more productive. There was a work of art of yours that states “your secret is safe with me” that I wanted to have you chat about a little more if you could?
MH: Oh yes, let me go grab it! This is one of my favorite pieces that I’ve made. I dyed this cotton fabric a light pink. This past year I have been thinking a lot about violence in a way. For a while I was screenprinting trail cam photos of animals being shot at and things like that. And coming back to an image of a dead mermaid and stuff like that. And my teacher mentioned that all of these things have to do with violence but they are still very pretty.
This probably sounds so cliche and silly but it is this balance of pain along with a beautiful delicate thing. I have been exploring that and the idea of pain and pleasure existing together; These things that don’t belong together but are in some way. In this piece, the writing is very much a delicate thing and is something you would say to someone you love and care about. And then paired with a really jarring image.
GT: Is the text and imagery printed on?
MH: No, it’s hand drawn with graphite. I don’t know the durability of this piece honestly because I didn’t think about it when I was making it.
GT: It adds to that delicate character. I remember seeing the work in person at a show and I didn’t recognize until I got closer that it was so delicate.
This probably sounds so cliche and silly but it is this balance of pain along with a beautiful delicate thing. I have been exploring that and the idea of pain and pleasure existing together; These things that don’t belong together but are in some way. In this piece, the writing is very much a delicate thing and is something you would say to someone you love and care about. And then paired with a really jarring image.
GT: Is the text and imagery printed on?
MH: No, it’s hand drawn with graphite. I don’t know the durability of this piece honestly because I didn’t think about it when I was making it.
GT: It adds to that delicate character. I remember seeing the work in person at a show and I didn’t recognize until I got closer that it was so delicate.
MH: The fabric is so sheer and delicate. It was so funny because there were these drunk boys there at the show and they were taking selfies in front of my piece. And I was like, this is all I could ever ask for [Laughs].
GT: Who do you envision wearing your clothes? Where do you want your fashion designs to take you? At the moment you make individual pieces for individual people. Do you see yourself selling multiples in stores in differing sizes or do you want to continue the intimate nature of your current work?
MH: That is something that I have been grappling with for the last few months because it is hard to navigate when I am making one of one pieces and hand-dyeing, printing, and patterning everything from scratch. I definitely have been thinking about making multiples of things that are more simple like tank tops in multiple sizes. It is hard to navigate that because I definitely want it to be in stores and be more accessible in a way. With the amount that I spend on things and the time is a lot. It is hard when you are an artist and you think about people paying for your work because it feels crazy.
I have been trying to think of ways to make work more accessible and fast so more people can buy it instead of making one of one customs for people. I don’t think there is a certain kind of person I make work for. I have been very fortunate to make work for people like this girl’s wedding dress a couple years ago. And for the work I made for Donna Missal, she was friend’s with the girl I made the wedding dress for. So a lot of it is the luck of connections. And seeing my dress on stage and her performing in it is so crazy because it makes me really feel like this is what I want to do. The thought is always in the back of my mind of how to make items in bulk when they take so much time and I don’t want to say effort because I love doing what I’m doing but it is hard to figure that out. If you make a collection it is going to take a certain amount of money and time and then figuring out how to still make profit off of that as an artist but still have it be accessible for people to buy it. I’m still unpacking and navigating that one because it is so difficult. I am organizing a little pop up this summer with other independent designers in the area and we’re having some friends play music and stuff. I think that will be a good trial run for me of focusing on a piece and making three sizes of it and seeing how that goes over.
GT: Who do you envision wearing your clothes? Where do you want your fashion designs to take you? At the moment you make individual pieces for individual people. Do you see yourself selling multiples in stores in differing sizes or do you want to continue the intimate nature of your current work?
MH: That is something that I have been grappling with for the last few months because it is hard to navigate when I am making one of one pieces and hand-dyeing, printing, and patterning everything from scratch. I definitely have been thinking about making multiples of things that are more simple like tank tops in multiple sizes. It is hard to navigate that because I definitely want it to be in stores and be more accessible in a way. With the amount that I spend on things and the time is a lot. It is hard when you are an artist and you think about people paying for your work because it feels crazy.
I have been trying to think of ways to make work more accessible and fast so more people can buy it instead of making one of one customs for people. I don’t think there is a certain kind of person I make work for. I have been very fortunate to make work for people like this girl’s wedding dress a couple years ago. And for the work I made for Donna Missal, she was friend’s with the girl I made the wedding dress for. So a lot of it is the luck of connections. And seeing my dress on stage and her performing in it is so crazy because it makes me really feel like this is what I want to do. The thought is always in the back of my mind of how to make items in bulk when they take so much time and I don’t want to say effort because I love doing what I’m doing but it is hard to figure that out. If you make a collection it is going to take a certain amount of money and time and then figuring out how to still make profit off of that as an artist but still have it be accessible for people to buy it. I’m still unpacking and navigating that one because it is so difficult. I am organizing a little pop up this summer with other independent designers in the area and we’re having some friends play music and stuff. I think that will be a good trial run for me of focusing on a piece and making three sizes of it and seeing how that goes over.
GT: That’s a really good idea! We’ve talked a lot about your fashion designs, I was curious if you find yourself still dabbling in screen printing and photography as of late?
MH: Outside of making clothes I have been really narrowing it down to drawing and writing. Sometimes I will take photos just for fun. I will dress up and take photos and they won’t go anywhere and they just stay on my computer. I think it is good to have things that you are really focused and driven on but also having things that are enjoyable too in my practice. It sometimes gets to the point where it feels like a chore instead of something you actually enjoy.
GT: When you write, do you usually approach each work the same way or with more of an organic spur of the moment motivation?
MH: I write a lot of poetry and before I moved to Portland, I grew up in Arkansas and my mom is from Alabama so rural America is really important to me in a way. It definitely is something that I write about a lot. I write about love and relationships a lot. Even my writing deals with finding beauty in violence and pain and pleasure. It is also just a way to process life. For a long time I would write poetry and I would not use the word “I” and it would be about things happening to me but from an arms length away. Writing provides so much room to experiment and it doesn't have to make sense which is cool. Similar to clothing, it doesn't have to make sense but clothing does have to be somewhat functional. So writing helps me feel that I can be as experimental as I want to be. It is like growing bacteria in a dish; you can put all of these things in a dish of bacteria and it grows itself, it's kind of like that. Like, you will start writing about one thing and then realize you want to write about something else instead and it all just morphs together.
There are so many rules to everything like poetry and making clothes. That is part of the reason I think I didn’t make clothes at school because I didn’t want to go to class and have someone tell me I need to follow these rules when I knew the rules were going to make me hate this. So I was thinking about how all these rules exist and how I don’t want to adhere to any of them and how I just want to do the things I want to do.
MH: Outside of making clothes I have been really narrowing it down to drawing and writing. Sometimes I will take photos just for fun. I will dress up and take photos and they won’t go anywhere and they just stay on my computer. I think it is good to have things that you are really focused and driven on but also having things that are enjoyable too in my practice. It sometimes gets to the point where it feels like a chore instead of something you actually enjoy.
GT: When you write, do you usually approach each work the same way or with more of an organic spur of the moment motivation?
MH: I write a lot of poetry and before I moved to Portland, I grew up in Arkansas and my mom is from Alabama so rural America is really important to me in a way. It definitely is something that I write about a lot. I write about love and relationships a lot. Even my writing deals with finding beauty in violence and pain and pleasure. It is also just a way to process life. For a long time I would write poetry and I would not use the word “I” and it would be about things happening to me but from an arms length away. Writing provides so much room to experiment and it doesn't have to make sense which is cool. Similar to clothing, it doesn't have to make sense but clothing does have to be somewhat functional. So writing helps me feel that I can be as experimental as I want to be. It is like growing bacteria in a dish; you can put all of these things in a dish of bacteria and it grows itself, it's kind of like that. Like, you will start writing about one thing and then realize you want to write about something else instead and it all just morphs together.
There are so many rules to everything like poetry and making clothes. That is part of the reason I think I didn’t make clothes at school because I didn’t want to go to class and have someone tell me I need to follow these rules when I knew the rules were going to make me hate this. So I was thinking about how all these rules exist and how I don’t want to adhere to any of them and how I just want to do the things I want to do.
GT: We luckily live in a time where there are so many resources at our fingertips to learn how to do stuff like online tutorials and everything. I definitely feel you in regards to seeking that journey out on your own terms! At the same time, there is a resistance people have towards this way of learning sometimes that continued education is the only way to properly learn such skills when now it really is possible to teach yourself to sew, write, draw, etc.
MH: It is fun too. It provides you the option to say oh this person did this thing one certain way but I am going to try to do it a different way and there is no one there to tell me that I can’t do it that way [Laughs].
GT: This was so fun, this seems like a good place to wrap up, thank you!
MH: Yeah, absolutely!
MH: It is fun too. It provides you the option to say oh this person did this thing one certain way but I am going to try to do it a different way and there is no one there to tell me that I can’t do it that way [Laughs].
GT: This was so fun, this seems like a good place to wrap up, thank you!
MH: Yeah, absolutely!
